Lube Jokes

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

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Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

Why do Republicans hate lotion?

Because the directions say to apply it liberally.

What Would Beyonce Do?

Would she apply for a job Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

What does a ghost say after a bad joke?

Booo

What do you get when a ghost takes a crap?

Rectoplasm.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

Both can be solved with a coat hanger

What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend?

You Cantaloupe.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if someone has Alzheimer's?

A. How can you tell if someone has Alzheimers?

How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

Partner Jokes More Partner Jokes

How to break up with someone- You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: which one?

You: MEEEEE BYEEEEEEEE

What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common?

We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed.

Welder Jokes More Welder Jokes

Why did the welder put on a scuba tank?

Someone's got to fix this sub.

What did the doctor tell a welder when the welder asked if his girlfriend(a pilot) using alternative lube was giving him erectile dysfunction?

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way.

How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?

A polo bear!

What do you call it when a golfer misses the hole?

Fore-play