Lube Jokes

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

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How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell an astronaut where they're going?

Straight up.

Why can't you tell a joke to a dwarf?

Because it will go right over his head

Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

Why should you slow down to let another car move into your lane?

Good karma.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"?

Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it

What's with Jane?

It doesn't look good" "Yeah, I know, I'm asking about her health"

Grab Jokes More Grab Jokes

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

How does a mathematician deal with constipation?

He grabs a pencil and tries to work it out

Partner Jokes More Partner Jokes

When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?

Is unwise, apparently.

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

Why do they call it "Lipstick?

When a woman can easily move her lips after she applies it

Why did you apply for this job?

Me: Because being broke and homeless didn't really call out to me.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the accountant go crazy?

He started to hear invoices in his head.

What's the difference between a white story and a black story?

A white story starts with "Once Apon a Time" and a black story starts with "Y'all ain't gonna believe this"

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What're you doing in the garage?

ME: I made a cloning machine. WIFE: Don't do anything stupid. OTHER ME: Like what

How many fish did it take to consume my wife?

None. There are no fish under my new gazebo