Lube Jokes

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

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How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

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Melt Jokes More Melt Jokes

What did the little black kid say when he had diarrhea?

Daddy help I'm melting!

What did the sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman?

I came, I thaw, I conquered.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do cheese strings work?

I started to laugh, but then I stopped. How do cheese strings work

Why did the the acrophobe pothead start screaming?

She's afraid of heights.

Jet Fuel Jokes More Jet Fuel Jokes

How often does jet fuel melt steel beams?

9/11

How many sides does a Pentagon have?

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why are thedonald users not cucks?

First of all you'd need a girlfriend to begin with.

What does the alchemist do to please his girlfriend?

Elixir.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What! why?

The doctor says "So I can examine you"

What happened to you?

The doctor asks. "I stepped on something."

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask?

The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!

What did the snake say when another asked him the time?

Don't asp me!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

Rectoplasm Jokes More Rectoplasm Jokes

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

What do you get when a ghost takes a crap?

Rectoplasm.