Lube Jokes

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

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Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

How do they get to smoke their cigarettes?

They throw one cigarette overboard, which make the boat a cigarette lighter.

How did they manage to smoke?

They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter

Grab Jokes More Grab Jokes

How do you stop a ginger from drowning?

You throw him a lifesaver and tell him to grab on to it.

What does a pimp do when his garden needs tending?

He grabs a hoe.

Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

What did the memory say to the processor?

If you apply a voltage to me, I'm going to flip a bit!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

Why was most of Jesus' walk downtown very awkward?

Because his friend asked him when he thought they should cross.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the definition of a Polygamist?

Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

Why did the house go to the doctor?

He was having window pains I'm sorry

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a Mexican is feeling sad?

They're wearing a SOMBERERO

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm?

It has a blue light!