Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

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Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

What's the name of the car of a hipster Batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

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What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

What kind of jeans does Mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry...

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Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What do Alicia Keys, Katniss Everdeen, and Joan of Arc all have in common?

They're all girls on fire.

Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts?

It's not my fault I'm blind.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you do with a Rhinoceros with 3 balls?

You walk him and pitch to the giraffe.

Why do Avon ladies walk funny?

Because their lipstick

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?

Barberians.

Why aren't there any B batteries?

Because people might think you have a stutter.

Trigger Nometry Jokes More Trigger Nometry Jokes

What was the Feminist's least favorite subject?

Trigger-nometry.

What is a feminist's least favourite Maths topic?

Trigger-nometry.

Agony Jokes More Agony Jokes

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

Cloth Jokes More Cloth Jokes

What did one bolt of cloth say to the other bolt of cloth after hurting its feelings?

I'm sari.

What do maids in Manhattan use to clean their kitchens?

J-lo Cloths

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

What's grey carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?

A get wellephant!

What do you call a bunch of happy Seahawks fans after the Super Bowl?

Haitians

Quantum Jokes More Quantum Jokes

What did quantum consciousness say to its son?

Your awareness differentiates to the expansion of experiences and freedom impacts the expression of the phenomena in reality to quantum belonging.

Why did Newton's wife got pregnant?

Because he doesn't believe in using quantum