Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the name of the car of a hipster Batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry...

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Fish Market Jokes More Fish Market Jokes

Why doesn't Elin Nordegren ever shop at the fish market?

Because Tiger is always bringing home crabs!

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!

Pumpkin Jokes More Pumpkin Jokes

What does a redneck do on Halloween?

Pumpkin

Why is Cinderella so bad at football?

A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the pirate say when he walked into the brothel?

Arggg! thar she blows

When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"

Cloth Jokes More Cloth Jokes

What do maids in Manhattan use to clean their kitchens?

J-lo Cloths

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

Clothe Jokes More Clothe Jokes

Why does it take so long for a nun to get her clothes?

It takes 21 days to make a habit.

How many TSA agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. TSA agents only know how to remove clothes putting them on is different matter completely.

Inflate Jokes More Inflate Jokes

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

Inflate it.

Tumblr User Jokes More Tumblr User Jokes

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What do you call a tuber that buys his girlfriend chocolates?

A sweet potato.

What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?

I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.