Tumblr Jokes

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

What's the name of the car of a hipster Batman?

Tumblr.

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

What kind of jeans does Mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

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Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

What's the difference between a bomb vest and a feminist?

A bomb vest does something when it's triggered.

Nap Kin Jokes More Nap Kin Jokes

What do you call a tired tumblrina?

A nap-kin.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What's the worst part of running into your ex?

You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged.

Why didn't the bike go to the car show?

Because he was two tired.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What sort of drug does a duck use?

Quack cocaine

What type of drugs do ducks use?

What type of drugs to ducks use? Quack cocaine.

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

Why does the graveyard have fences?

Because people were dying to get in!

What's the difference between one yard and two yards?

A fence.

Dry Jokes More Dry Jokes

What do you get when your Grey Poupon dries out?

An upper crust.

What gets wet as it dries?

Texas after a drought.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the US citizen cross the road?

To cross the border into Canada.

What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?

Addercadabra and abradacobra!