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Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

I Love Pizza & You

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I Love Pizza & You

Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

What's the name of the car of a hipster Batman?

Tumblr.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

What kind of jeans does Mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry...

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

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Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite

What do you get when you mix a car and a refrigerator?

A car-brrrrr-etor

Triangle Jokes More Triangle Jokes

What did one triangle say to the other triangle about the square?

Look out for that guy, he's got another side to him.

What kind of church does a triangle attend?

Anglican.

Darth Vader Jokes More Darth Vader Jokes

Which boxer did Darth Vader put his money on in the fight?

The Thai fighter

What's the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady?

Darth Vader probably gets high fived

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

What's the difference between a fence and a wall?

I give them a wall, and they take offense.

Why do cemeteries have fences?

Because people are dying to get in.

Fish Market Jokes More Fish Market Jokes

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!

Why doesn't Elin Nordegren ever shop at the fish market?

Because Tiger is always bringing home crabs!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a fancy car and a sweet potato?

A Yambourghini!

Why did the cactus cross the road?

It got stuck to the chicken.