Pumpkin Jokes

Why does Cinderella never win the Olympics?

She has a pumpkin for a coach and runs away from the ball.

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Why was Cinderella bad at basketball?

Because her coach was always a pumpkin.

What's with the knives?

Wait, stop. Please stop!" - pumpkin

Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?

It wanted to play squash.

Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin.

Why couldn't Cinderella play football very well?

Her coach was a pumpkin

Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?

They have no hands to knock on the door.

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Astrology Jokes More Astrology Jokes

What do you get when you cross astronomy and cosmology with a dyslexic girl at Starbucks?

Astrology, cosmetology, and a pumpkin space latte

What's the difference between astronomy & astrology?

Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points.

Kentucky Jokes More Kentucky Jokes

How can you tell that the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

Because it is not called a teethbrush.

Why did the chicken cross the state line?

He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pond and a stream?

Wet feet.

What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Redneck Jokes More Redneck Jokes

What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

Tumblr Jokes More Tumblr Jokes

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What's the name of the car of a hipster Batman?

Tumblr.

Celebrate Jokes More Celebrate Jokes

How do zombies celebrate Halloween?

They paint the town dead!

How do you celebrate July 4th in Canada?

Not by getting drunk and blowing off your fingers, because it's just a regular day for you.

Starbuck Jokes More Starbuck Jokes

What's the currency in space?

Starbucks

What is an astronomer's favorite drink?

Star*bucks. Sorry.(https://sarahk18.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/happy-ba-dum-tss-l.jpg)

Sport Jokes More Sport Jokes

What sport are Mexicans best at?

Cross country.

Where do religious school children practice sports?

In the prayground!