Pumpkin Jokes

What did the pumpkin say after waking up his family?

Awaken, my pump-

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Why does Cinderella never win the Olympics?

She has a pumpkin for a coach and runs away from the ball.

Why was Cinderella bad at basketball?

Because her coach was always a pumpkin.

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?

Pumpkin

What's with the knives?

Wait, stop. Please stop!" - pumpkin

Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?

It wanted to play squash.

Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin.

Why couldn't Cinderella play football very well?

Her coach was a pumpkin

What do Mountain folk do on Halloween?

Pumpkin.

Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?

They have no hands to knock on the door.

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What do you call a tire named after Ferris Bueller?

A Ferris Wheel.

What do you call a gang of tires?

A rubber band

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Why type of lightning likes to play sports?

Ball lightning

What sport are Mexicans best at?

Cross country.

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics?

Walking

Why doesn't Mexico ever do well in the Olympics?

Because every Mexican that can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

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Why couldn't the Duke of Esterhzy find his music composer?

Because he was Haydn.

Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging?

Because X was always 10

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What's the difference between USB and USA?

One connects to all your devices and access your data, one connects to all your devices and access your data.

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

What is another name for a knife?

A chopstick!

Tumblr Jokes More Tumblr Jokes

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What's the name of the car of a hipster Batman?

Tumblr.