Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

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What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

E-reptile dysfunction

What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan?

They're used to disappointment.

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What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring?

That's lacist.

Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math?

Because he likes to Count.

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Whats long and green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger.

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

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Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail?

She couldn't stand making Kermitments

What's green and smells like Ms. Piggy?

The Boston Celtics

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Where do American bees store their honey?

In a USBee hive. Thank my ten year old for that one.

Why did the bee get married?

Because he found his honey.

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What's green and smells like Ms. Piggy?

The Boston Celtics

Why did Ms. Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

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Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the Frog likes sweet and sour pork.

Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?

He wanted sweet and sour pork!