Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math?

Because he likes to Count.

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Why is Ponyboy lactose intolerant?

He hates Dairy but likes Sodapop.

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

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Why will I go down in history?

I dunno, but I'll go down in math and chemistry too.

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

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Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!