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Math Jokes

How do bovines do math?

They use a cow-culator! Ba-dum-tsss!

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What kind of math can you do with light?

Refractions

Why do Asians like to have military time on?

So they can do math

How do cows do math?

A cow-culator. haha haha ha... ok, I'll leave.

What do math and mermaids have in common?

They both have an alge-bra.

Why are dwarfs so good at math?

Because it's the little things that count.

What's the difference between an infinite line and an infinitely large circle?

There is no difference. The joke is you just learned math.

How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math?

Carry the Juan

What's an alcoholic's favourite type of Maths?

Swigonometry.

How does a cow quickly do math?

With a cow-culator! (Rimshot)

What is the average Math teacher like?

Mean.

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Why do plants hate math?

Because it gives them square roots

What does Math stand for?

Mental Abuse To Humans

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Why do Republicans hate math?

They were never comfortable with integration.

Who knows about math and science and is always close by?

An engi-near!

How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

What do bulls do math with?

A cow-culator! (Cue groans)

Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?

Because cot(0) doesn't exist... This joke... it burns my eyes...

What kind of snake is good at math?

An adder.

Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math?

Because he likes to Count.

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What's the difference between a PhD in math and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four

How long have we been married dear?

Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.

What kind of math do owls like?

Second Caribou: Owlgebra.

What insect is good at math?

An account-ant.

What do you call math that gives you PTSD?

Triggernometry

What type of math is dead?

Aerith-matic..

What's a feminists favourite type of math?

Triggernometry

How does a cow do math?

With a cowculator!

What's the diffrence between Math and Emos?

Math problems actually exist

What kind of ant is good at maths?

An accountant!

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What is a feminist's least favourite Maths topic?

Trigger-nometry.

Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges?

He was caught doing lines of math!

How can that help in this job?

You do the math

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

Why will I go down in history?

I dunno, but I'll go down in math and chemistry too.

Whats a weightlifters favorite kind of math?

AlgeBRUH!

What do you call an intense love of math?

Calculust.

Why is Math always sad?

Because it has too many problems.

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

What did the Math book say to the pencil?

I see your point I've got a lot of problems.

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

A polynomeal

What's math?

People who give 110%

What's 10+10+10+25+25+5+1+1?

Me: Math

Why is DeadMau5 bad at math?

He drops the base when doing logs.

What kind of math do feminists study?

Triggernometry

Why was math so easy in ancient Rome?

X always equals 10

How do you teach a girl math?

Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.

What do you get when you cross a Star Wars ship with math?

A Pi fighter

Why are Aluminum Phosphate ions so bad at math?

They have trouble forming solutions.

Why don't math majors like to drink alcohol?

Because they don't like to drink and derive.

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

Why is the Math Book so sad?

It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry...

Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?

Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.

What's the difference between math and meth?

One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

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Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What do you do if the lights in a Chinese food restaurant are too bright?

Dim Sum.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary?

I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What happens when a lawyer dies??

Who cares!

When someone asks, "How are you?

I say, "5-7-8-3" because they don't care how I am & saying my ATM Code out loud helps me memorize it.

Grocery Store Jokes More Grocery Store Jokes

What's the difference between the grocery store and a math book?

In a math book I can buy 57 papayas at $1.99 each and no one will care.

What do you call a dad that works at a grocery store?

Baghdad

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails?

He thought it would be a pedicure. sorry.

Whats a pirates favourite letter???

Youd think itd be rrrrr but tis the sea.

Sorry Jokes More Sorry Jokes

What do you call a reptile detective?

An investigator Sorry

Why is the Math Book so sad?

It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

57 Jokes More 57 Jokes

Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

What's the difference between the grocery store and a math book?

In a math book I can buy 57 papayas at $1.99 each and no one will care.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

What kind of room doesn't have any doors/windows inside?

A mushroom.

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

What is skeleton?

Interviewer:what is skeleton? Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

What is the integral of 1/cabin?

B: "Log cabin!" A: "Nope, Houseboat. You forgot the C."