Care Jokes

Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I dont know and I dont care.

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Why shouldn't you tell a pirate your secrets?

They ain't private ears.

What is the main difference between existentialism and nihilism?

Who knows? Who cares?

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't care. You pick

What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant?

Who cares? It's a relephant.

Why did Billy not care who he offended while posting on the internet?

Because the ends justify the memes

Why don't they call the Batman film "The White Knight" instead of "The Dark Knight"?

Because no one would care that he died.

Who reached the ground first?

Noone cares.

How do you spell "apathy"?

I don't care.

What happens when a lawyer dies??

Who cares!

How many people from Cornwall does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't care, as long as they do it better than people from Devon.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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When do you care for a man's company?

When he owns it.

How do Canadians take care of their skin?

Maybe it's maple leaf.

What do you call someone who believes rotten eggs smell bad, but doesn't care?

An eggsy-stench-alist.

Why didn't anyone care about the circus?

Because it was irr-elephant

What does the H. in Jesus H. Christ stand for?

Hallmark. God cares enough to send the very best.

What do you call a psychic who simply doesn't care?

Telapathy

Why did the existential nihilist cross the road?

Who cares.

Which is worse, insouciance or ignorance?

I don't know and I don't care.

When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

Who cares!

How much less could you care?

Coworker: I don't get it. Me: I noticed.

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Which teachers care the most about their students?

Math teachers, because every student counts.

What's stronger, fifty watts of sound or fifty watts of light?

I don't care but would you please stop screaming, turning the lights on and off.

Who cares if you pee in the shower?

The bride and all her guests, apparently.

What's a man?

Dad: A man is who loves unconditionally, cares about you and protects you. Kid: When i grow up, I'll be a man like mom

How can you tell ignorance from indifference?

I don't know and I don't care.

What do call someone who takes care of reindeer and really enjoys it?

A Jolly Rancher.

What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?

Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!

Why does no one care that space is a vacuum?

Oh it doesn't really matter.

What do you call a person who doesn't care that he just got kicked out of a Call of Duty team?

Unfazed*

What did the lead researcher say when all of her colleagues were complaining about the experiment?

I don't care et al.

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

Why do software engineers tend to not care about trigger warnings?

They're not trigger errors.

What's worse: ignorance or indifference?

Johnny", responds his dad, " I neither know nor care." Edit: granma grammar.

Why does fluoride cause apathy?

Who cares.

What's the difference between the grocery store and a math book?

In a math book I can buy 57 papayas at $1.99 each and no one will care.

What do you think is the biggest problem in Germany?

Uncertainty or indifference ' He answered: I don't know and I don't care!'

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

What do you call it when someone admits to caring about how they dress?

A confashion.

What do you call a boring meme about some internet drama that you don't care about?

Dramameme.

When someone asks, "How are you?

I say, "5-7-8-3" because they don't care how I am & saying my ATM Code out loud helps me memorize it.

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

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What are the two main differences between a Chihuahua and a German shepherd?

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I think I could use a Han here.

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Why do bears poop in the woods?

So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!

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Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror?

They wanted to see it crack up!

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?

This one will sleigh you!

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What's the definition of apathy?

I don't know, and I don't care.

What's a bigger problem, ignorance or apathy?

I don't know and i don't care.

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How do you start to politely tell someone that their God isn't in the stars?

Well... If it's any constellation...

What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm?

Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron.

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Why is being a pirate addictive?

They say that after you lose your first hand, you get hooked!

How do pirates sing the ABC's?

Abcdefghijklmnopq AAAAARRRRRR stuvwxy and z