Feed Jokes

Why did the farmer take a bale of hay to bed?

He wanted to feed his nightmares.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How do you solve world hunger and poverty simultaneously?

By feeding the poor to the hungry.

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

What do you get when you feed an Eevee a sandwich?

A Luncheon!

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

What's the difference between a raft guide and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family.

What's the difference between a large pizza and an art student?

A pizza can feed a family.

How does J.G. Wentworth tell you that he's hungry?

It's my tummy, and I feed it NOW!

How do you get money out of a piggy bank?

Feed it laxatives.

Why did they stop feeding cows the round bales of hay in Texas?

Because they weren't getting a square meal.

What's the wrong way to feed the cat?

To the dog.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What bounces and makes little children cry?

My donation check to Feed the Children!

What's the difference between an Arts student and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of 4

What do you feed a disappearing cat?

Evaporated milk

What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?

Ape Suzettes!

How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier?

The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!

Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?

She was fed up with the hole business.

When should you feed milk to a baby elephant?

When it's a baby elephant!

What do you feed an invisible cat?

Evaporated milk.

What happens when you keep feeding a cow money?

You get rich milk.

Why did the mother feed her newborn lamb?

Because it's baby food.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Where do football directors go when they are fed up?

The bored room!

Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?

He wanted rich milk!

Why did the doughnut maker retire?

He was fed up with the hole business.

Why did the cannibal live on his own?

He was fed up with other people.

Why did the girl quit her job at the doughnut factory?

Because she was fed up with the hole business.

Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?

He wanted sweet and sour pork!

Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken?

Enough drumsticks to feed an army!

Why did the farmer feed his cows money?

He wanted rich milk.

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

What is the difference between a call center job and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?

The bag of rice can feed a family of four.

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

What's the difference between a folk singer and a pepperoni pizza?

A pepperoni pizza can actually feed a family of five.

What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla?

Anything it wants!

Why did the man put cheese on his computer?

He wanted to feed the mouse.

When was pasta introduced to the Middle East?

When someone fed a genie alfredo

Why did Mitt Romney feed his cows money?

He wanted rich milk.

How do you make a rabbit fast?

Don't feed it.

What is the difference between a feminist studies major and a pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four.

What is a Cannibal?

Someone who is fed up with people.

What's the difference between a drummer in a rock'n'roll band and an extra large pizza?

The extra large pizza can feed a family of four.

Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?

To feed her nightmare.

How does North Korea only have four medals so far?

We're the best at everything. We even fed our athletes this time.

Why did the man shut his donut shop?

Because he was fed up with the hole business!

What have you been feeding him?

Me: Egg shells.

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband right before she got on the Challenger Shuttle?

Honey you feed the dog I'll feed the fish.

How do you get a puppy to stay the same size forever?

You stop feeding it.

What is the difference between a PhD in mathematics and a large pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four

What's the difference between a cheeesburger and Reddit gold?

A cheeseburger can't feed your ego.

Why did your sister feed money to her cow?

Because she wanted to get rich milk.

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Cookout Jokes More Cookout Jokes

What do you call it when dolls have a cookout?

Barbie-Q

What do you call a long line at a cookout?

A barbequeue.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why did Chris Benoit quit wrestling?

He wanted to hang with his family.

What do paper towels call their family?

NapKIN

World Hunger Jokes More World Hunger Jokes

How do you solve world hunger and poverty simultaneously?

By feeding the poor to the hungry.

What's the cure for world hunger?

Food

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What would a midget be jealous of at a little kid?

The kid is over 5 feet tall.

What was Justin Timberlake called when he was a kid?

Justin Timberpuddle!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did the left leg say to the right leg?

That one in the middle thinks he's hard.

What did the psychic velociraptor say to his friend?

Dino what you're thinking.

Poverty Jokes More Poverty Jokes

What playground equipment do kids hate the most?

The slide into poverty.

What does having kids bring you that money simply can't buy?

Poverty

Owner Jokes More Owner Jokes

Why did the alarm go off at the mansion?

Because the owner entered the correct code.

How can you tell if a picture was taken with a GoPro?

Because the owner will tell you

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.