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How does J.G. Wentworth tell you that he's hungry?

It's my tummy, and I feed it NOW!

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Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror?

They wanted to see it crack up!

How do you tell an astronaut where they're going?

Straight up.

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Why did your sister feed money to her cow?

Because she wanted to get rich milk.

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.