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How does J.G. Wentworth tell you that he's hungry?

It's my tummy, and I feed it NOW!

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How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana?

Try picking it up. If you can't it's either a monster or a giant banana.

Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy?

Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir.

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What is the difference between a call center job and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

What's the difference between an arts graduate and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family