How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before?

He has claw marks on his forehead.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell if somebody doesn't have a smartphone?

Just wait, they'll tell you.

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

How tough was medical school for a dog like you?

DR DOG: *thinking back on all the homework he ate* It wasn't easy

Why is seven bigger than nine?

Because seven ate nine.

Rabbit Jokes More Rabbit Jokes

What's the fastest way to send a rabbit?

Haremail.

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs Bunny!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Who was the best player on the Seahawks last night?

The Broncos' center

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night?

He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.

Chuck Norris Jokes More Chuck Norris Jokes

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them.

Who would win in a fight between John Cena and Chuck Norris?

Depends on who wrote the script.

Forehead Jokes More Forehead Jokes

How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before?

He has claw marks on his forehead.

How does a blonde high-five?

She smacks herself in the forehead.