What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What's next - people marrying dogs?

Nervous glance at dog Dog: Frank, we've been over this. I like you as a friend

What kind of soda do dogs drink?

Barq's Root Beer.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?

When the power goes off.

How do crows know what time is it?

They have the knights watch.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

What's the difference between a PC gamer and a console player?

One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.

What do dolphins use to stay clean?

All-porpoise cleaner.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home?

Where on Earth have you been?!

What does someone from Alabama say after a one night stand?

Wham, bam, thank you fam

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

Whats best joke aboot Canada?

I'm Canadian and i was just wondering

Why is Hodor's real name Wylis?

Because everyone wonders what he's talkin' bout.