What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What will it take to reunite Nirvana?

Two more bullets.

Why did Maria Shriver marry Arnold Schwarzenegger?

To breed a Kennedy that could take a bullet.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What do cops and sports photographers have in common?

They get paid to shoot black men.

Why did the cop cross the road?

To shoot a black kid.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What is the difference between a painting and jesus?

A painting only need one nail to hang

What do you give to a lemon in need?

Lemonaid.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth?

Bubblegum

What has a mouth but no teeth?

A river.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of a fish do you always find on a beach?

A dead one...

What kind of socks do you find in your backyard?

Garden hose.

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"