Soldier Jokes

What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?

A marine biologist.

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What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray??

A seasoned veteran

What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

What do you call a soldier with long arms?

An army soldier

What day do soldiers hate the most?

March Fourth

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

Why did the Romans build straight roads?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

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Why did the soldier salute the occupied restroom?

There was a loo tenant inside.

What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?

Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

A smile and wave!

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Marine Biologist Jokes More Marine Biologist Jokes

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray.

What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags it's tail, while the other tags a whale

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a frog and a cat?

A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night.

What's the difference between a pizza and a pizza joke?

You can't top a good pizza joke.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What do the Lannisters and Alice in Chains have in common?

They pay their debts on time.

What did the fish have to pay to get past the coral reef?

Atoll.

Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What was the last thing that went through JFK's head?

A bullet.

Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

Camouflage Training Jokes More Camouflage Training Jokes

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

Why did the chess master order a Russian bride?

He needed a Chech mate!

Frenchman Jokes More Frenchman Jokes

What did the Frenchman say after 80?

Blaze it.

What did George Takei say to the attractive Frenchman on waterskis?

Eau myyyyyyyy....

Roman Soldier Jokes More Roman Soldier Jokes