Soldier Jokes

What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?

A marine biologist.

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What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray??

A seasoned veteran

What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Where does Joseph Kony train his soldiers?

Arizona

What do you call a soldier with long arms?

An army soldier

How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head?

If it's red on top, fire in the hole.

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What day do soldiers hate the most?

March Fourth

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home?

IUD

Why did the Romans build straight roads?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

Why did the soldier salute the occupied restroom?

There was a loo tenant inside.

What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

Why so long face?

Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?

Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

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How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

A smile and wave!

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown?

Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet

What's the difference between the people and bullets?

The people miss Harambe.

Roman Jokes More Roman Jokes

What did Jesus say to the romans after he rose on the third day and talked about their behavior?

Yall nailed it.

What is a Roman wrestlers favorite meal?

JOHN CENA

Revolt Jokes More Revolt Jokes

Why did Vietnam revolt against the French?

Because they knew they would Nguyen.

What did King George think of the American colonists?

He thought they were revolting!

Roman Soldier Jokes More Roman Soldier Jokes

End Jokes More End Jokes

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An envelope!

How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.

Shade Jokes More Shade Jokes

What's the deal with lampshades?

If your gonna turn on a light... Why shade it.

Why are the streets in Paris lined with trees?

So the German soldiers can march in shade.

Toast Jokes More Toast Jokes

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast?

Gingerbread

Crucify Jokes More Crucify Jokes

What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified?

He gets a little cross.

How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.