Soldier Jokes

What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?

A marine biologist.

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What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

What do you call a soldier with long arms?

An army soldier

What day do soldiers hate the most?

March Fourth

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

Why did the Romans build straight roads?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

Why did the soldier salute the occupied restroom?

There was a loo tenant inside.

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What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?

Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

A smile and wave!

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Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

Why do you want to work here?

ME: *crumbs tumbling from my mouth* Oh, I don't. I was just walking by and saw you had donuts.

How does a blonde call for her dog?

She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts "Max!".

France Jokes More France Jokes

What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won?

Tsar Napoleon.

Did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece

German Soldier Jokes More German Soldier Jokes

Why are Paris's streets lined with trees?

German soldiers like to march in the shade.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a group of snowboarders and lifties (lift attendants)?

The lift attendants have jobs.

What is the difference between a golfer and skydiver?

A golfer goes "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn".

Camouflage Training Jokes More Camouflage Training Jokes

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

Roman Jokes More Roman Jokes

How many Roman pirates does it take to change a light bulb?

I I

What do you call a smiling Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

Muscle Jokes More Muscle Jokes

How was the bear able to move in order to get honey?

It had muscles.

What did the man get for winning the muscle relaxing contest?

Atrophy!