Soldier Jokes

What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?

A marine biologist.

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What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray??

A seasoned veteran

What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Where does Joseph Kony train his soldiers?

Arizona

What do you call a soldier with long arms?

An army soldier

How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head?

If it's red on top, fire in the hole.

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What day do soldiers hate the most?

March Fourth

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home?

IUD

Why did the Romans build straight roads?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

Why did the soldier salute the occupied restroom?

There was a loo tenant inside.

What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

Why so long face?

Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?

Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

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How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

A smile and wave!

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

Who slept with my wife?

And in the background someone replied "You ain't got enough bullets."

What's the difference between a repost and a bullet?

I don't want to put a repost in my mouth

French Jokes More French Jokes

What French city always surrenders first?

Toulouse

How does a French soldier greet his comrades?

Salut!

Roman Soldier Jokes More Roman Soldier Jokes

Season Veteran Jokes More Season Veteran Jokes

What type of veteran is he?

A seasoned veteran.

What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray??

A seasoned veteran

Muscle Jokes More Muscle Jokes

What muscle is most responsible for lateral rotation of the neck?

The gluteus maximus

What did the lobster do at the disco?

Pulled a muscle.

Avenue Jokes More Avenue Jokes

Which street does the police officer live in?

Let's be Avenue

Why there are so many avenues in France?

Because German soldiers like to march in the shade

Camouflage Training Jokes More Camouflage Training Jokes

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why is fruit so expensive?

I want some raspberries, not the tears of Jesus.

Why did Jesus hang on the cross for three days?

He forgot the safe word.