Soldier Jokes

What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?

A marine biologist.

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What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray??

A seasoned veteran

What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

What do you call a soldier with long arms?

An army soldier

What day do soldiers hate the most?

March Fourth

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

Why did the Romans build straight roads?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

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Why did the soldier salute the occupied restroom?

There was a loo tenant inside.

What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?

Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

A smile and wave!

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Salt Jokes More Salt Jokes

What do you call an old soldier who has been sprinkled in salt and pepper?

A seasoned veteran.

How did the cynic die?

He died of liver failure. He took everything with a pinch of salt.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the Metis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

What does a dog do when it loses it's tail?

Goes to a retail store to find another one.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How?

I've paid him and i didnt sit in. I ran away

How much do deodorant factory workers get paid?

A pittance.

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?

Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you.

How do Hawaiian Muslims greet each other?

Aloha Akbar!

German Jokes More German Jokes

Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying "Tick, tick, tick, tick,..."?

Ve haff vays of meking you tock.

What does the German President wear?

Leader-hosen.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?

He's always nailed to the boards....

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!...

Season Veteran Jokes More Season Veteran Jokes

What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Frenchman Jokes More Frenchman Jokes

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

What did the Frenchman say after 80?

Blaze it.