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Why did the chess master order a Russian bride?

He needed a Chech mate!

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Why Russians never drive stick shift?

They really hate Stalin

How did the man get stuck at the Russian airport?

He got snowden.

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Which room will you be working out in?

Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower.

Why is picture of Jesus better than Jesus himself?

You only need one nail to hang up the picture.