Bullet Jokes

Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?

In case they run out of bullets.

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What's the difference between the people and bullets?

The people miss Harambe.

What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss Harambe.

What's the difference between a repost and a bullet?

I don't want to put a repost in my mouth

What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown?

Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet

What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?

Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

What does its job only after its been fired?

A bullet.

Why didn't the bullet have a job?

It got fired.

What was the last thing that went through JFK's head?

A bullet.

What do bullets and I have in common?

We don't miss Harambe.

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Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

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What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes?

Remorse code

How does a woman apologize to a man?

I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

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What's a clown's favorite restaurant?

Mod post from r/AntiJokes) I wouldn't know, as a mime I cannot comment.

What do you call a drill on the North Pole that just wants to get to know people?

An icebreaker

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What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper!

Why did the bodybuilder stop in the middle of the road?

They ran out of juice!

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Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

What's your favorite tasteless 9-11 joke?

Here's mine. Knock knock. Who's there 911. 911 who You said you'd never forget

Vest Jokes More Vest Jokes

What do you call it when you buy stocks of a clothing company?

A good in-vest-ment

What's the difference between an apple?

A bike because a vest has no sleeves.

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What are the rules about Canadians?

Does everybody get one Do I get to choose Where do I sign up

What is Asia's favourite sitcom?

Everybody loves Ramen.

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How to be part of a joke?

One must simply walk into a bar

What's the difference between organized crime and the government?

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What do you call a Car Bomb shot with a shot of Fireball?

A Paul Walker.

Why was Star Wars shot Episodes 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of directing, Yoda was