Bullet Jokes

Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?

In case they run out of bullets.

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What's the difference between the people and bullets?

The people miss Harambe.

What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss Harambe.

What's the difference between a repost and a bullet?

I don't want to put a repost in my mouth

What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown?

Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet

What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?

Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.

What are French journalists good at catching?

Bullets.

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

What does its job only after its been fired?

A bullet.

Why didn't the bullet have a job?

It got fired.

What was the last thing that went through JFK's head?

A bullet.

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What do bullets and I have in common?

We don't miss Harambe.

Who slept with my wife?

And in the background someone replied "You ain't got enough bullets."

Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

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Bb Jokes More Bb Jokes

What did the mommy bullet say to the daddy bullet?

"We're gonna have a BB!"

Why is the BB unit droid not hungry?

Because BB-8

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

Which internet search engine does Chandler from Friends use?

Google, like everybody does.

What is the difference between Martin Luther King Day and St. Patrick's Day?

St. Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the turkey walk across the road twice?

He didn't want to be called chicken

What do you want to do before you tickle someone?

Test-tickles

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

Why did OP get fired from his job as a mailman?

He never delivered.

Sandy Hook Jokes More Sandy Hook Jokes

What did Sandy Hook elementary get in the mail instead of new books?

Empty Magazines.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How does Kylo Ren talk on the phone in his helmet?

He uses a hans free device

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

Repost Jokes More Repost Jokes

How do you call a man without a body and a nose?

Nobody knows. Sorry if it is a repost

What's the only thing worse than a worm in your apple?

Reposts

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is the definition of a Freudian slip?

When you say one thing and mean a mother. Don't remember where I heard it. Haven't read it here yet.

What do you call someone who takes things literally?

A kleptomaniac!