Bullet Jokes

Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?

In case they run out of bullets.

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What's the difference between the people and bullets?

The people miss Harambe.

What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss Harambe.

What's the difference between a repost and a bullet?

I don't want to put a repost in my mouth

What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown?

Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet

What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?

Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.

What are French journalists good at catching?

Bullets.

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

What does its job only after its been fired?

A bullet.

Why didn't the bullet have a job?

It got fired.

What was the last thing that went through JFK's head?

A bullet.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What do bullets and I have in common?

We don't miss Harambe.

Who slept with my wife?

And in the background someone replied "You ain't got enough bullets."

Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

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What did the mama bullet say to the papa bullet?

We're going to have a BB!

Why is the BB unit droid not hungry?

Because BB-8

American Jokes More American Jokes

Who lost the presidential debate?

We Americans

What's the difference between an American and a Briton?

Britons think 200 miles is a long distance, and American's think 200 years is a long time.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the yoga teacher say when someone asked if she wanted to leave the party early?

Namaste

Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime?

He wanted to have some stage presents.

Apologize Jokes More Apologize Jokes

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

Why are giraffes slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride

Hay Jokes More Hay Jokes

What did the cow say to the hay?

I chews you

Why did they stop feeding cows the round bails of Hay in Texas?

Because they weren't getting a square meal.

Train Jokes More Train Jokes

What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train?

A laplander!

How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?

He was a good conductor.

Sandy Hook Jokes More Sandy Hook Jokes

What did Sandy Hook elementary get in the mail instead of new books?

Empty Magazines.

Trifle Jokes More Trifle Jokes

What do you call a rifle that fires 3 bullets at once?

A trifle!

What is a rifle with three barrels?

A trifle.