What famous American filmmaker lived in a safe?

Vault Disney

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What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

When is the only time you're not American?

When European.

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Why do Stasi officers make such good taxi drivers?

You get in the car and they already know your name and where you live.

What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog. It croaks every night.