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Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

What is Oscar Pistorius's new favourite band?

Bullets For My Valentine

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the psychic get fired?

Because she didn't see it coming.

Why didn't Pinocchio make it thru puberty?

He caught on fire.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

How do hens stay fit?

They always egg-cercise!