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Rapper Jokes

What do you call a rapper who's feeling bitter?

NaClmore

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Why do rappers always get arrested?

Because he who did the rhyme did the crime

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

Why do rappers make bad carpenters?

Because they measure 5.5 to 6 inches as 8 to 13 inches.

Why couldn't Bach be a rapper?

Because he's Baroque.

Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

Why do rappers love weed so much?

Because the majority of their relatives used to pick it

What do rappers like on their burritos?

Waka Flakamole

What did the rapper ask the pet sitter when he got back from vacation?

Where my dogs at?

When a rapper gets beer, how much do they get?

A Two Pack

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What do Japanese emperors and rappers have in common?

They're both wondering where their ninjas are at.

What do you call a rapper who likes honey for breakfast?

Sugar Puff Daddy

What do they say about a rapper who stole a dictionary?

He got a way with words.

What do you call a Rapper who smokes too much?

Tupac-aday

What do you call a rapper who masterbates a lot?

Lil Wayne-ker

What did the rapper say when he couldn't find his pants?

Where my knickers at

How many rappers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two!.......pac. (*It's a lot better spoken than written.*)

Why did the rapper visit the urologist?

Because his flows were so sick.

What did the rapper say to the deli owner?

Challah!

What does a midwestern farmer and a rapper have in common?

They both want to make it rain.

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How do most rappers build a following?

They go shopping at a department store.

How are music and candy similar?

We throw away the rappers.

What do you call a group of rappers in a washing up bowl?

In Sink!

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

Why can't rappers rap about nice things?

YEAH GIRL I'm GOING TO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHS AND....... Give them to a homeless guy because he's cold

Which rapper would you rather bring back from the dead?

Tupac - Biggie Smalls - Eazy E - Meek Mills

How the rap feud started Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party?

2pac: sure, no biggie Biggieeavesdropping: wipes tears

What do rappers use to write their lyrics?

Word,yo.

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.

What do rappers use to wash their clothes?

BLEEE-AAAACH!

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What's a rappers shirt made out of?

Strait out of cotton

Why does a rapper need an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.

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What's the best way to save on toilet paper?

Slow your roll.

What did Keanu Reeves say to slow down his horse?

Whoa.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

When do you care for a man's company?

When he owns it.

Baroque Jokes More Baroque Jokes

Why did Rembrandt lose his house?

Because he was *Baroque*.

Why couldn't Bach be a rapper?

Because he's Baroque.

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What did the communist say at the beginning of the race?

On your Marx, get set, go!

Why did Frodo set his cell phone to vibrate?

He was afraid the ring would give him away.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why is a shooting star better than a hamburger?

It's meteor.

Who Shot First? Boba Fett or Jango Fett?

Han Solo

Gmail Jokes More Gmail Jokes

What is a rapper's favorite Email?

Gmail

How do gangsters receive communications?

Gmail

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How many light bulbs did it take to screw a human?

None, there not too bright with doing anything except showing us where to go when were lost in the dark

What's the similarity between Divorce and tornados in the Midwest?

Someone's losing their trailer