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How do you get money out of a piggy bank?

Feed it laxatives.

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Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What did Bernie Madoff say to Bernie Sanders?

I'll take your money!

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

How does North Korea only have four medals so far?

We're the best at everything. We even fed our athletes this time.

Laxative Jokes More Laxative Jokes

What is the best remedy for cough?

A laxative.

What happened to the Marine that took a laxative?

He was relieved of doodie.

Piggy Bank Jokes More Piggy Bank Jokes

Where do hogs keep their money?

In piggy banks.

Why are there so many piggy banks?

Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress.