How do you get a puppy to stay the same size forever?

You stop feeding it.

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Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

What do you call a puppy in the desert?

Anyone else got some fun jokes your kids have told you?

What do you call someone who molests puppies and kittens?

A Petophile

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?

He force quit.

Why did the cold war last so long?

The US couldn't stop Stalin.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Where do black people stay when they visit Alaska?

A nigloo

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What's the difference between an arts graduate and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family

What happens when you keep feeding a cow money?

You get rich milk.

Size Jokes More Size Jokes

How do hens always know what size your egg cup is?

They don't but all eggs always fit.

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.