Size Jokes

What size lumber is used to build homes in Dubai?

Dubai fours

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What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn't fly?

They ostrich-sized him

What did the bullied microchip say?

PIC on someone your own size!

What is the size of women in Italy?

Itali-cized.

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

What do you call a military base that has quadrupled in size?

Four-tified

What size clothes do fortune tellers wear?

Medium.

What did the booger say to the finger?

Pick on someone your own size.

What do you call somebody who is content being average sized?

A happy medium.

Which I replied, "Wanna know whats also the size of Australia?

Australia.

Why do moths fly with their legs apart?

Have you ever seen the size of moth balls

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How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

Inflate it.

How do hens always know what size your egg cup is?

They don't but all eggs always fit.

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Dubai Jokes More Dubai Jokes

What's the difference between people in Dubai and people in Abu Dhabi?

People in Dubai don't watch the Flinstones, but people in Abu Dhabi do.

What's difference between Abu Dhabi and Dubai?

People in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones But people in Abu Dhabi Do!!

Orphan Jokes More Orphan Jokes

What did one orphan say to another?

Get in the Batmobile Robin.

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

ROBIN, GET IN THE BATMOBILE!

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What does a turkey do when he flies upside down?

He gobbles up.

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, how did they get in there anyway?

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What is the most common phrase used in school?

Pupil: I don't know Teacher: Correct!

What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles?

Electricity.

Spread Jokes More Spread Jokes

Why do all the ladies love Jesus?

Spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this.

Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

DLC.

Who did the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper sell his soul to?

Santa

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What is it called when a Sailor in the Navy gets a care package from home?

Underwear Replenishment

Why did Minotaur win an interior design award?

Because his home was a maze thing.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What did the raisin see when she came home early from work?

Her husband on a date.

Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day?

Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.