Size Jokes

What size lumber is used to build homes in Dubai?

Dubai fours

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn't fly?

They ostrich-sized him

What did the bullied microchip say?

PIC on someone your own size!

What is the size of women in Italy?

Itali-cized.

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

What do you call a military base that has quadrupled in size?

Four-tified

What size clothes do fortune tellers wear?

Medium.

What did the booger say to the finger?

Pick on someone your own size.

What do you call somebody who is content being average sized?

A happy medium.

Which I replied, "Wanna know whats also the size of Australia?

Australia.

Why do moths fly with their legs apart?

Have you ever seen the size of moth balls

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

Inflate it.

How do hens always know what size your egg cup is?

They don't but all eggs always fit.

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Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

How did the lawyer chip his tooth?

The ambulance slammed on its brakes.

When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?

When the chips are down!

Candy Bar Jokes More Candy Bar Jokes

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

How does a candy bar laugh?

It snickers

Spread Jokes More Spread Jokes

Have you heard the rumor going around about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.

Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

Moth Jokes More Moth Jokes

What do moths study at school?

Mothmatics

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?

An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What do you call a sleeping police officer?

An undercover cop.

Why did the mummy cry himself to sleep every night?

Because he was empty inside.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What dog would you want on your American football team?

A golden receiver!

What did the rich bald man want before he died?

Heairs.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?

Because he ate his ant for dinner!

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.

Orphan Jokes More Orphan Jokes

What does an orphan and a bottle of champagne have in common?

They both lost their pop.

How did the orphans in Oliver Twist communicate with each other?

Through *more*se code!