Spread Jokes

What did Shakespeare spread on his toast?

Blue Sonnet

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

How do Egyptians warn each other about a spreading fire?

Pyroglyphs.

Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

Why do all the ladies love Jesus?

Spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this.

What do you call mints you can spread through social media?

Memementos

What do you get when the Pillsbury dough boys bend over?

Dough-nuts (South Park reference again just spreading it).

Have you heard the rumor going around about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.

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Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why did the cave hate miners?

They're always picking on him.

Why does Barbie hate Amazon?

Because they're always putting sales out on ken-dolls.

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

Whats a word that white people can call white people but black people cannot call black people?

Dad.

What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by a court of black people?

The NBA.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why don't women wear dresses in the winter?

They could get chapped lips!

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of at tennis court?

Annette!

Pave Jokes More Pave Jokes

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why don't they let gansters play Quidditch?

Cause gangsters always catch the snitch!

What did the chicken say after it's wings caught on fire?

Damn, I sure got some hot wings!

Cremate Jokes More Cremate Jokes

How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated?

Hmm No risk do both.

What do you call it when a cremated person spins in their grave?

An Urn-ado.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

What is the chemical composition of a fire hydrant?

K9P.

Information Jokes More Information Jokes

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

You only have to punch information into a computer once.