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Landmine Jokes

What do you do if you step on a landmine?

Well standard procedure is to jump 50 feet and spread over a wide area.

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What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom?

A chicken stepping on a landmine.

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

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Step Jokes More Step Jokes

What does a panther say when it steps on ants?

Ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT dedandead-annnnnt # d-d-d-deadant.

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...

Middle Night Jokes More Middle Night Jokes

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night?

Russell!

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

To get to the same side.

Why did the chicken cross the 38th parallel?

Because North Korea's long range missiles can't reach that far

Explode Jokes More Explode Jokes

What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

What did the French chef say when the cheese factory exploded?

Looks like we have debris all over the place

Cluck Jokes More Cluck Jokes

What do you call a clan for chickens?

Coo clucks clan

How long do chickens work?

Around the cluck!

Spread Jokes More Spread Jokes

What do you get when the Pillsbury dough boys bend over?

Dough-nuts (South Park reference again just spreading it).

Why do all the ladies love Jesus?

Spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this.

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What does a feminist pick up from the post office?

Their femail

How do you tell if a woman is a feminist?

She'll tell you within five minutes.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

What do you get when a cow jumps in cold water?

Utter udder shudder.

Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?

The dime had more cents.