Landmine Jokes

What do you do if you step on a landmine?

Well standard procedure is to jump 50 feet and spread over a wide area.

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What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom?

A chicken stepping on a landmine.

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

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How do you say goodbye in Arabic?

BOOM!

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They both have Sandy Claws.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because chickens didn't exist yet.

What's the difference between a chicken and a hen?

The spelling.

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Lady: How do I spread love in this cruel world?

Random Dude: [...💘]

What's the good word?

Legs. Spread the word.

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What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night?

Russell!

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Who ruled France until he exploded?

Napoleon Blownapart!

What did the man do when he got a big gas bill?

He exploded.

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Why did the feminist get triggered?

The police found it easier than arresting her.

Why do feminists hate Apple?

Because they're not PC.

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Where does the Lego man get his drugs?

His K'Nex!

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

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Why is there no Mexican Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder

Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer Olympics?

Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA.