How can you ever be late for anything in London?

They have a huge clock right in the middle of the town.

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Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?

Same middle name.

What's big, white and goes down on you in the middle of the night?

An Airbus A320.

Town Jokes More Town Jokes

Where'd you get that black eye?

Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...

What did the farmer say when he heard the town gossiping about his cornfield fire?

My ears are burning!

London Jokes More London Jokes

Why don't bars in London have Happy Hour?

They're in Greenwich Mean Time.

What is the difference between a girl from London and a Kitkat?

You only get 4 fingers in a Kitkat.