Town Jokes

Where did Susie go when her town got bombed?

Everywhere.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

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How do you tell when the Chinese move to town?

When the Mexicans get car insurance.

How can you tell you live in an Asian part of town?

All the Mexicans have car insurance.

Why does the town pound keep animals in separate cages?

Cause otherwise they'd be going to pound town.

How do cows go from one town to another?

They cowmmute.

Where is the best place in town to buy marijuana?

High Street, of course.

What does Stalin do on a night out?

Paints the town red

How do you drive a Unitarian out of town?

Burn a question mark on their front lawn.

What do the lady reindeer do on Christmas eve?

They hit the town and blow a few bucks.

What do you call a town in the middle of the Arctic Ocean?

An Iceburgh.

Where do all the bad hamburger buns live?

In the seedy part of town

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

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How did the depressed man get around town?

Moped

What town in the continental United States produces the most alligator pears per year?

Avo, CA does.

What do you call it when all the Chinese places in town start to close?

Wonton endangerment.

How do you stop an F4 tornado from destroying a town?

A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris! However, this method will cause more destruction than the tornado.

How do u tell the population of a small native village?

Throw a bunch of pocket change in the middle of town. How do u tell who is the richest person in that village? Find the person who gathered the most change.

What Does A Redneck Call It When He Visits His Cousin Outside His Town?

Entering the friend zone.

What did the farmer say when the townspeople told him all of his cows were in town..?

I herd.

Who me?

Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.

Why was the actor detained by airport security?

He said he was in town to shoot a pilot.

Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan?

Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

How can you ever be late for anything in London?

They have a huge clock right in the middle of the town.

What's the difference between a pair of shoes and a ginger girl?

You try your best to keep your shoes from getting wet when you go to town.

How'd ya get that?

Asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town " he asked. "So did I!" she said.

What town should a "mountain oyster" festival be held in?

Oxnard, CA

What do communists do on May Day?

Paint the town red.

What do you call a group of people in charge of renewable energy for a town?

A solar panel.

Who's there! Arizona! Arizona who?

Arizona room for one of us in this town!

How's your headache?

Patient: She's out of town.

What do you call a bee from the wrong side of town?

A bumblegee

How do zombies celebrate Halloween?

They paint the town dead!

What did the farmer say when he heard the town gossiping about his cornfield fire?

My ears are burning!

Why did the pop punk chicken cross the road?

To get out of this town.

Where'd you get that black eye?

Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...

What do you call an empty town after dinner?

Desserted

When will there be a woman in the White House?

When Hillary leaves town.

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Stalin Jokes More Stalin Jokes

Why does the communist party hate planes?

Because they're always Stalin

How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick?

Cause their cars are always Stalin

Car Insurance Jokes More Car Insurance Jokes

What type of car insurance does OJ da Juiceman have?

Triple Aaayyy

How can you tell you live in an Asian part of town?

All the Mexicans have car insurance.

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

Why did the dyslexic fisherman go on a Paleo diet?

Because he was low crab of course.

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?

Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time.

What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic existentialist?

Is there a dog?

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why do Kenyans always win marathons?

At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-

Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit?

So he could tell the time at night!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Who is driving the car?

The police.

Why are there so many jumpshots in the WNBA?

Because women can't drive

Unitarian Jokes More Unitarian Jokes

How do you drive a Unitarian out of town?

Burn a question mark on their front lawn.

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian?

Someone who knocks on your door at 6 a.m. for no reason.

Marijuana Jokes More Marijuana Jokes

What kind of marijuana do cows smoke?

Moo-dicinal

What does a pencil have in common with marijuana?

If it doesn't make you look smart, it's blunt.