He writes scary stories.
Another one popes up.
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk
He wanted 2 hit singles
Driver: I don't believe everything I read.
Because it was crumby.
Santa laughing his head off. What goes HO HO HO A Pimp taking inventory.
Stephen Hawking
Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool
Exorcise books.
When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, Marc, with a C. Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
