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What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

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What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

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What did the Australian say to the hawk?

Good eye!

Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM