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What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla?

Anything it wants!

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What do you want on your tombstone?

Pepperoni and cheese.

Why did Micheal Jackson want to be a camp counselor?

He would give Merit Badges for pitching a tent.

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How does J.G. Wentworth tell you that he's hungry?

It's my tummy, and I feed it NOW!

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.