A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.
No pun in ten did!
Dad jokes are punnier.
He worked it out with a pencil!
Because they don't believe in higher powers
Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)
A math problem.
They're all, like, equal to me...