What animals do you bring to bed?

Your calves.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did Mick Jagger say when he walked in on Hugh Hefner in bed with Dennis Weaver?

He said "Hey Hey Hugh Hugh Get Off Of McCould"

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Do you know yet Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more

Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

Where do animals go when they lose their tails?

The retail store!

Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

Calf Jokes More Calf Jokes

Why was the calf afraid?

He was a cow-herd!

What animals do you bring to bed?

Your calves.