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Honey Jokes

What did the Flower say to the Bees?

You know you want it, Honey

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Why did the bee get married?

Because he found his honey.

What 2 things do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?

They both ate honey and they both have the same middle name.

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

How was the bear able to move in order to get honey?

It had muscles.

Why do bees sting?

They can't bite because all that honey rotted their teeth. (From my 7 year old niece)

What does a bee do with his stinger at night?

Put it in his honey.

How do you get honey from a graveyard?

From a zombee!

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

What do you call a person who helps teach others to fart?

A tooter. (thanks, honey)

Where does a bee put its stinger?

In its honey

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What do you call a rapper who likes honey for breakfast?

Sugar Puff Daddy

What's the difference between zombies?

Q: What's the difference between zombies? A: Zombies make honey, and zombies don't.

Who would you save first?

Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!

What do bees who are allergic to honey get?

Hives.

Why do the bees have honey?

Because they have a queen. If they had a parliament, they would have had nothing.

Where do American bees store their honey?

In a USBee hive. Thank my ten year old for that one.

What did the mother tomato tell the baby tomato when the baby tomato was walking too slow?

Honey, walk faster, KETCHUP!

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

What is the British equivalent of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am?

Honey!" Nut "Cheerio!"

What are the three words you dread the most while making love?

Honey, I'm home.

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What do you get from a bee that has an udder?

Milk and honey.

What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.

What really makes Whinny the Pooh angry?

When other people put two fingers in his honey.

How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the Frog likes sweet and sour pork.

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

What did the Chinese guy say to his wife after her botched plastic surgery?

Honey, why the wrong face

What does a man with no honey do?

He cantaloupe.

What did the spider say to the bee?

Your honey or your life!

Why does everybody love honey?

Because it never gets old.

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Why did the bees go on strike?

Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers!

What do beef hearts smell like?

Honey.

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Bee Jokes More Bee Jokes

What do you call a bee in a space rocket?

Bracket

What bee is good for your health?

Vitamin bee!

Honey Comb Jokes More Honey Comb Jokes

Why did the bumble bee have sticky fur?

Because he used a honey comb.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Beacuse of the honey combs!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's Beethoven up to these days?

Decomposing

Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?

Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do The Walking Dead and the state of Wisconsin have in common?

They both have a hated governor.

What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar?

AU, get outta here!

Flower Jokes More Flower Jokes

Why were the Native Americans upset when it rained in April?

Because April showers, bring May flowers!

Why did the flower fall over?

It was a little daisy

Revenge Jokes More Revenge Jokes

What does a bird say when it wants revenge?

Toucan play at that game!

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

What does John Cena wash his hair with?

Champ who

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

Whats the similarity between Monkey in the Middle and Football?

Both of the groups that are concered about the health of someone playing both begin with the letter P.

What's your middle name?

Why are you single What's wrong with your big toe