Kermit Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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What are green and smell like pork?

Kermit's fingers

What's slimy, long and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger.

What's small and green and smells like pork?

Kermit's Finger.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

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What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger...

What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit?

I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green.

Whats long and green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger.

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger...

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?

Same middle name.

What's green, slimey and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger.

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

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What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What's Kermit the Frog's favorite song?

Whib It" by Devo.

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the Frog have in common?

Hogwarts!

What's long, green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs fingers

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the Frog's finger

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the Frog likes sweet and sour pork.

What's green, fuzzy, and stinks of pork?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?

Kermit the Fog!

What's long green and smells like pork scratchings?

Kermit the frogs finger.

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants?

They always want to play leap frog with him

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Miss Piggy Jokes More Miss Piggy Jokes

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why don't men install urinals in their houses?

Their wives just wouldn't stand for it

What does idk stand for?

Literally everyone I ask doesn't know.

Green Jokes More Green Jokes

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why are calculators grey and boring?

Cause it's what's on the inside that counts! EDIT: it was a joke guys:(

How does the farmer count up his cows?

With a cowculator.

Jim Henson Jokes More Jim Henson Jokes

What did Kermit the Frog say when Jim Henson died?

Nothing.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What's the best part about dating a twin?

Nobody can judge you on your age difference.

Why did the plant use a dating service?

To find its stomate!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why doesn't Waldo wear stripes?

He doesn't like to be spotted

Which punchline do you like better?

What do you call a nun that sleep-walks a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Who's there! Buster! Buster who?

Buster tire can I use your phone!

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment