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Kermit Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing.

What are green and smell like pork?

Kermit's fingers

What's small and green and smells like pork?

Kermit's Finger.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

Love Card

Love Card

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What do Kermit the Frog'S fingers smell like?

Bacon.

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger...

What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit?

I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green.

Whats long and green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger.

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger...

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?

Same middle name.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What's green, slimey and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger.

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What's Kermit the Frog's favorite song?

Whib It" by Devo.

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger

What do you have when you have two small, green balls in your hand?

Kermit's undivided

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the Frog have in common?

Hogwarts!

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

What's long, green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs fingers

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common?

They both like to pork.

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the Frog's finger

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the Frog likes sweet and sour pork.

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?

Kermit the Fog!

What's long green and smells like pork scratchings?

Kermit the frogs finger.

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants?

They always want to play leap frog with him

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Throat Jokes More Throat Jokes

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 100?

Because when she got to 69, there was a frog in her throat.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?

At 69 she always gets a frog in her throat.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why couldn't the Chinese geologist find a date?

He was vehemently opposed to wrong rocks on the beach.

Why do Americans order their dates Month/Day/Year?

Because 11/9 just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Kermits Finger Jokes More Kermits Finger Jokes

What's slimy, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermits finger.

What smells like pork?

Kermits finger

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common?

They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five.

What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

About three inches.

Jim Henson Jokes More Jim Henson Jokes

What did Kermit the Frog say when Jim Henson died?

Nothing.

What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What is something that tastes better than it smells?

A tongue

How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's?

It smells like teen spirit.

Yeezy Jokes More Yeezy Jokes

How does Kim Kardashian like her eggs?

Over-Yeezy.

What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit?

I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you get when you hold two green balls tightly in your hand?

A leprachaun's undivided attention.

What's the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand in a blender?

There's always a 50/50 chance the blender isn't on