Kermit Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing.

What are green and smell like pork?

Kermit's fingers

What's small and green and smells like pork?

Kermit's Finger.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

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What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What do Kermit the Frog'S fingers smell like?

Bacon.

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger...

What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit?

I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green.

Whats long and green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger.

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger...

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?

Same middle name.

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What's green, slimey and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger.

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What's Kermit the Frog's favorite song?

Whib It" by Devo.

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the Frog have in common?

Hogwarts!

What's long, green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs fingers

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the Frog's finger

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the Frog likes sweet and sour pork.

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?

Kermit the Fog!

What's long green and smells like pork scratchings?

Kermit the frogs finger.

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants?

They always want to play leap frog with him

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Who's there? Alan Rickman and David Bowie. Alan Rickman and David Bowie who?

Alan Rickman and David Bowie have both died recently.

What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?

I'M BREADY TO DIE

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What do grandparents smell like?

Depends

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?

A smell that keeps coming back!

69 Jokes More 69 Jokes

What is 34.5?

69 for midgets

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 100?

Because when she got to 69, there was a frog in her throat.

Throat Jokes More Throat Jokes

How high can Miss Piggy count?

68, because at 69 she gets a frog in her throat...

Why was the bird sick?

It had the flew and its throat was soar.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

Where's the middle of nowhere?

It's three letters in. "H".

What do you call a 5'10" fortune teller parked in the middle of a divided highway?

A medium medium on the median.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

What does Rolf Harris like to play with on the piano?

A minor.

Pork Jokes More Pork Jokes

What's slimy, long and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger.

Whats long, green, and smells like pork?

Kermits finger

Henry Jokes More Henry Jokes

What did Alyssa the duck say to Henry the beaver?

Quack quack!

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.