Kermit Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing.

What are green and smell like pork?

Kermit's fingers

What's small and green and smells like pork?

Kermit's Finger.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

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What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What do Kermit the Frog'S fingers smell like?

Bacon.

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger...

What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit?

I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green.

Whats long and green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger.

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger...

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?

Same middle name.

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What's green, slimey and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger.

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What's Kermit the Frog's favorite song?

Whib It" by Devo.

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the Frog have in common?

Hogwarts!

What's long, green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs fingers

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the Frog's finger

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the Frog likes sweet and sour pork.

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?

Kermit the Fog!

What's long green and smells like pork scratchings?

Kermit the frogs finger.

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants?

They always want to play leap frog with him

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Middle Finger Jokes More Middle Finger Jokes

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

Henry Jokes More Henry Jokes

Who invented fractions?

Henry the 1/8

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?

Same middle name.

Piggy Jokes More Piggy Jokes

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What do you call a 5'10" fortune teller parked in the middle of a divided highway?

A medium medium on the median.

What do you call a man in the middle of the ocean with no arms or legs?

Bob

Throat Jokes More Throat Jokes

Why can't Ms. Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 she has a Frog in her throat.

Why was the bird sick?

It had the flew and its throat was soar.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is the cuddliest particle known to science?

The HUGS boson!

Why was the two-dimensional emo sad?

Because nobody would ever know how deep he was.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?

Causal fridays.

What did the pilot who fail flying school did when he went home?

Got high.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How do mathematicians count x-men?

Permutations.