Kermit Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing.

What are green and smell like pork?

Kermit's fingers

What's slimy, long and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger.

What's small and green and smells like pork?

Kermit's Finger.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog's finger

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit The Frog's fingers.

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What do Kermit The Frog'S fingers smell like?

Bacon.

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frog's finger...

What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit?

I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green.

Whats long and green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger.

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger...

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?

Same middle name.

What's green, slimey and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger.

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What's Kermit the Frog's favorite song?

Whib It" by Devo.

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger

What do you have when you have two small, green balls in your hand?

Kermit's undivided

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

How do frogs die?

They kermit sucide

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the frog have in common?

Hogwarts!

What's long, green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs fingers

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common?

They both like to pork.

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the frog's finger

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

What's green, fuzzy, and stinks of pork?

Kermit the frog's finger

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

How do frogs die?

They kermit suidide!

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?

Kermit the Fog!

What's long green and smells like pork scratchings?

Kermit the frogs finger.

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants?

They always want to play leap frog with him

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

You might also enjoy:

Piggy Jokes More Piggy Jokes

What's the name of your former bank?

I said, "Piggy"

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

69 Jokes More 69 Jokes

Why does 7 and 8 feel very uncomfortable?

Because they're stuck between a 69.

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 100?

Because when she got to 69, there was a frog in her throat.

Pork Jokes More Pork Jokes

Whats long and green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger.

What do Swedish criminals say when the cops are coming?

Pork! Pork! Pork!

Shoutout Jokes More Shoutout Jokes

What do you think Michael Hastings was working on before he died?

Slowing down his car....... shoutout to for this one.

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

Slimy Jokes More Slimy Jokes

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?

You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.

How do you get Americans to care about the Sudanese genocide?

Dress them up as dead lions

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

What happens to an Asian guy when they run into a wall with a full erection?

They break their nose!