Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

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What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it.

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Why can't America play chess?

They are missing 2 towers

Why arent the Americans playing chess?

They are missing two towers.

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What do elephants and plums have in common?

Everything, except that one is an elephant and one is a plum.

Which ant is the biggest?

Elephant

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What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

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Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.