Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?

An Aflacco

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What do you get when you mix a rhino with an elephant?

Eliphino

What do you call a mix between holiday poultry and a ghoul?

A gobblin.

What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

What do you get when you mix a rhinoceros with an elephant?

Elephino...

What do you get when you mix a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog

What do you get when you mix a Dog and a Rhino?

How would Rhino?

What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse?

The hell out of there.

What do you call a helicopter mixed with a rhino?

Well hell-if-i-know!

What do you get when you mix pie and onions?

Opinions!

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What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant?

Who cares? It's a relephant.

Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up?

They call their tailor Herr Dresser

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What do you get when you mix yoga and scouting?

Concentration camps.

Why did Gandhi lose the race?

I guess he got his fasts mixed up.

What do you get when you mix free running with golf?

Parfour Sorry

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog.

What happens when you mix mustard and ketchup together?

It's must-up..

What does a Canadian get by mixing black and white?

Greh.

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

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What happens when someone mixes Francium, Oxygen, Tungsten, and Nitrogen after it explodes?

The chemist may frown.

What do you get when you mix up literature and alcohol?

Tequila mockingbird Or Ernest Hemingway

What did the scientist say before he died by mixing Hydroxide and Nitrate?

OH NO!

What so you call a bulldog mixed with a shih tzu?

A bull shiht

What is it called when you mix Alcohol and Literature?

Tequila Mockingbird. (X-post)

What do you call a pony mixed with a robot?

RoboClop....so sorry

What do you get when you mix gangsta rap and relational aesthetics?

Albums released through California penal records.

What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?

Tequila Mockingbird!

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

What do you get when you mix Nyquil and MiraLAX?

Relaxatives.

What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who shows up to your door for no reason.

What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.

What do you get when you mix the Twelve Days of Christmas with Ninety-nine Bottles of beer on the wall?

A year in prison if there's any justice.

What do you get when you mix castor oil with holy water?

A religious movement.

What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?

Bernie Sanders

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

What do you call mixing hard liquor into coffee?

Getting ready for work

What do you get when you mix laxatives with holy water?

A religious movement.

What do you get when you mix batteries and water?

Watt-er

What do you get when... what do you get when you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?

A rhetorical answer

What do you get when you mix Fascism and Communism?

I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

What do you get when you mix a black man with microwave chicken?

May be offensive) Mike Tyson

What do you call a neurotic octopus?

A crazy mixed-up squid.

What do you get when you mix a dog and a tulip?

A collieflower

How do you make a hamburger green?

Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!

What do you get when you mix a hippie and a yellow?

Mello Yellow

What do you get when you mix a pickle and a deer?

A dilldoe

What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

.........

Whoa, what's with all the whisks?

Sir-Mix-a-Lot: Why you judgin me

What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent?

Squeaky clean clothes.

What do you get when you mix two chains and a cow?

Truuuuuuuuuuu-moooooooooooooooooo!!!

What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get when you mix a car and a refrigerator?

A car-brrrrr-etor

What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog

What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

Tear gas.

What do you call a mix between an elephant and a rhino?

Ell if I know

What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?

Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.

What happens when you mix pandas and ammonium?

Pandemonium breaks out.

What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

What do get when you mix two breads?

A hy-bread

What do you get when you mix Mexico with literature?

Tequila Mockingbird

What do you get when you mix a helicopter and a rhino?

Hell if I know.

What do you get when you mix tea and a dogs name?

A dinosaur! Ha ha get it Tea-rex...

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?

A retail store.

What kind of dog is best at keeping secrets?

Hush puppies

Goat Dna Jokes More Goat Dna Jokes

What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?

An amoeboo!

What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.

Insomniac Jokes More Insomniac Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

How do you get an elephant into a Safeway bag?

You take the f out of "safe" and the f out of "way".

What do an elephant and a Porsche 911 have in common?

They both have their trunks in the front.

Chocolate Milk Jokes More Chocolate Milk Jokes

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

Pet Zoo Jokes More Pet Zoo Jokes

What do you get when you inject human DNA to a goat?

A permanent ban from the petting zoo

What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the petting zoo, apparently.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time?

Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

What does an agnostic... dyslexic insomniac do at night?

He lays awake and wonders if there really is a dog.