What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What kind of dog can tell time?

A clockshund!

How did Steve get the clues?

Blew the dog

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?

One but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.

How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?

Studying their Miranda Rights.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you call a vegetable that always stays outside?

An un-in.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call a hotel special that lets policemen stay for two nights for the price of one?

CuNO3!

Why doesn't Kirk like to have one-night stands?

Because the girls always cling on him afterwards.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

Why is it we are singing to each other?

It's no wonder our funding has gone away.

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.