What do you get when you mix the Twelve Days of Christmas with Ninety-nine Bottles of beer on the wall?

A year in prison if there's any justice.

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Prison Jokes More Prison Jokes

What do you call it when your wife brings you rice porridge in prison?

Congee-gal visit

What picture does a cup get when it goes to prison?

A MUGshot.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix up literature and alcohol?

Tequila mockingbird Or Ernest Hemingway

What do you get when you mix batteries and water?

Watt-er

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

Why do librarians like the wind?

It says, "Shhh!" all day!

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

What kind of room has no walls?

A mushroom!

What do Pink Floyd fans and NASCAR driver Kyle Larson have in common?

They both love The Wall

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?

Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!

What does an ear of corn hang on his fireplace during Christmas?

A stalk-ing! (A stocking!)

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

What town in the continental United States produces the most alligator pears per year?

Avo, CA does.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What do you get when you combine a watch and a bottle of beer?

A really good watch.

Why are bunnies so good at brewing?

Cause beer is made with hops.

Justice Jokes More Justice Jokes

What will you be drinking?

Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes. Justice for Harambe.

What will you be having to drink?

Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes, justice for Harambe.

Ninety Jokes More Ninety Jokes

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car?

One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.