April Sale - 20% Off

What do you get when you mix the Twelve Days of Christmas with Ninety-nine Bottles of beer on the wall?

A year in prison if there's any justice.

Previous Random Joke Next
Prison Jokes More Prison Jokes

What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?

One can't see to go the other can't go to sea.

What do you call a short clairvoyant person who just broke out of prison?

A small medium at large.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix a hippie and a yellow?

Mello Yellow

What do you get when you mix a monkey and a midget?

Tom Cruise

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed?!?!?

Why does everyone start to fight the day after Christmas?

Because it's Boxing Day!

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

It depends how strong you throw them

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What does a writer hope to get in a Christmas cracker?

A Pull-it-surprise!

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

Jungle Bells Jungle bells..!

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do you call a blonde in a closet?

Last years hide and seek champion

What's the difference between 2015 and Moore's Law?

One's the year of the ram, the other is the ram of the year.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What do you call it when a man has a beer in each hand?

Irish handcuffs.

What did the ireshmen say to the beer?

I love you.....

Justice Jokes More Justice Jokes

What's the difference between justice and relevant ethnic groups in America?

Justice isn't always black and white

What can I get you?

Harambe: I'll have a beer. Man: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Man: Yes, justice for Harambe.

Ninety Jokes More Ninety Jokes

How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car?

One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."