Halloween Jokes

Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?

Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

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What do mummies like to listen to on Halloween?

Wrap music

What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween?

A "booquet" of flower.

What did the jalapeno dress up as for Halloween?

A Ghost Pepper.

What is an engineer's favorite Halloween candy?

Dork chocolate

What spell does Harry Potter use on Halloween?

Spoopify

What's a scary costume for Halloween?

College tuition

What did the ghost say when he got to the Halloween party?

Im here for the boos.

What did the ghost say to the other ghost at the Halloween party?

Let's get sheet-faced!

Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

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What do people in Arkansas do for Halloween?

Pump kin.

Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?

Because everyone was a goblin

Why are informaticians always confusing the dates of Christmas and Halloween?

Because OCT 31 is the same as DEC 25.

What do people from West Virginia do on Halloween?

Pump-Kin

What do hillbillies do on Halloween?

Pump-Kin

Why did Blacula get kicked out of a Yale Halloween party?

The party was for "Wights only."

Why was the ghost sad on Halloween?

He ain't have no boo

What do you say upon hearing a bad Halloween joke?

Booooooo, Booooooo

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

What do ghosts dress up as for Halloween?

As John Cena because you can't see them.

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How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

Why was the ghost late to the Halloween party?

He had to take a sheet.

What's Adam Levine's favorite holiday?

Halloween Halloween Halloween!

Why does Barbie like Halloween?

It's pump-ken time

Where is the best place to vacation for Halloween?

Galapaghost Islands.

Why can't witches get pregnant?

Because all their husbands have Halloween-ies!

Why is Halloween a crackheads' favourite holiday?

Only two more sleeps til' Christmas!

What's a hillbillies favorite holiday? Halloween.... Do you want to know why?

Because they like to pump kin.

Why doesn't India celebrate Halloween?

No Gandhi

How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?

Pumpkin

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 is Dec 25

Why couldn't the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?

Because people are offended by seeing Boo Bees.

Why did the computer programmer put up his Christmas lights on Halloween?

He always gets DEC 25 and OCT 31 confused.

Why do witches go commando when riding around on their brooms?

Better grip. Happy Halloween

What do Hutterites do on Halloween?

Pump-kin

Why do meth heads love Halloween?

Three sleeps 'till Christmas!

Why is Halloween one of the most popular holidays in West Virginia?

It gives them an opportunity to.

What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.

What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?

An amoeboo!

Why aren't burgers the least bit scared of Halloween?

They're used to people 'goblin' them!

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on Halloween?

Happy halloweenie

What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy?

Lots a candy.

Why didn't the skeleton go for the Halloween party?

He had "No body " to go with.

What do birds say on Halloween?

Trick-or-tweet!

Why did the young ghost leave the party?

Everyone started drinking boo's. Happy Halloween!

Why do pigs love Halloween?

There's lots of hogsgobblin.

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties?

Because there is lots of school spirit!

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

What do cows say on Halloween?

Still moo.

What are you going to be for Halloween dad?

Me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be me: Mad

What is a black mans favorite Halloween costume?

Robbin Hood

What do ghosts drink for Halloween?

BOOOOZE!

What are you gonna be for Halloween?

Me: Drunk!

What is Beethoven doing in his grave?

He's de-composing! Happy Halloween everyone.

Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?

He was going as a banana.

How do red necks celebrate Halloween?

Pump kin

How do you get the most apples at Halloween?

Take a snorkel.

Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?

Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.

Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin.

Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?

Because he just came to pick up his little sister.

What does a guy with no friends be for Halloween?

Depressed

What drink do you have on Halloween?

Mali-BOO

What did Schwarzenegger say when deciding which composer to be for Halloween?

I'll be Bach.

What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Independence Day?

The Fourth of Ghoul-ly!

How do zombies celebrate Halloween?

They paint the town dead!

What was the Islamic Star Wars fan for Halloween?

Hijabba the Hut

What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Christmas?

A ghoul Yule!

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween?

I'll be Bach

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What do you call a place monks go for Halloween?

A monascary

What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party?

Hallowieners!

Who did the philosophy major ask out for the Halloween dance?

Nobody. He was too 'Freud.

What's a meth head's favourite thing about Halloween?

Only two more sleeps till Christmas!

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

Who turns the lights off at Halloween?

The light's witch!

Why didn't the skeleton ask out the Zombie to go to the Halloween party?

He didn't have the guts

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)

What do fishermen say on Halloween?

Trick-or-trout!

What kind of make up was the girl wearing on Halloween?

Mash-scara!

What do Mountain folk do on Halloween?

Pumpkin.

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for Halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Why is SAE not that racist?

Because some of their best friends are black... for Halloween!

What can I do about it?

Hire yourself out for Halloween parties.

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.

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Jalapeno Jokes More Jalapeno Jokes

What do you calla nosy pepper?

Jalapeno business

What do nosey peppers do?

They get Jalapeno business!

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why didn't Pope John Paul let dogs into the Vatican?

Because they pee on poles.

Why is it dangerous to let your man's mind wander?

It's too little to be out alone.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

Who do ghosts worship?

Boo, DUH!!!

Why does everyone love when a ghost goes to a party?

Because he always brings the boos

Closet Jokes More Closet Jokes

What's the funniest thing you can find in a closet?

Robin Williams

What does the janitor keep in the closet?

SUPPLIES!

Oct31 Dec25 Jokes More Oct31 Dec25 Jokes

Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you get if you squash a house?

A flat.

What did the homeowners of house haunted by windows have?

Phantom panes.

Pump Kin Jokes More Pump Kin Jokes

What do they do in West Virginia for Halloween?

Pump Kin

What do people from West Virginia do on Halloween?

Pump-Kin

Spook Jokes More Spook Jokes

What is a ghost-proof bicycle?

One with no spooks in it.

What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost?

Spook when you're spooken to.