What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy?

Lots a candy.

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What is an engineer's favorite Halloween candy?

Dork chocolate

What do ghosts drink for Halloween?

BOOOOZE!

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Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

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Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

Pre-nup brittle.