Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

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What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

What's the name of the car of a hipster Batman?

Tumblr.

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Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

Why did the dyslexic, Russian astronomer hate the revolution?

He was following the Tsar.