How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

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Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you call an alpacca that screams when it sees fire?

A smoke aLaama.

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!

Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

What did Keanu Reeves say to slow down his horse?

Whoa.

What are goosebumps for?

To slow down speeding geese!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do lesbians use for lubricant?

Tartar sauce!

What console does god use?

Praystation

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why couldn't the Dubstep artist be a chemist?

He couldn't stop dropping the base!

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?

A prestidigitator tot!

Lubricant Jokes More Lubricant Jokes

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use Lubricant.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant