What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

This joke may have profanity.
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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between life and wife's rant?

Life eventually ends.

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What kind of cigarettes do California kids smoke?

Yours.

How do you know when someone smokes weed?

Dont worry, they'll tell you.

Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How does one know a man is going to say something smart?

His sentences start with "A woman once told me.."

Why did they start using liquid soaps in prisons?

If you thought because you can't drop it, guess again) Because it takes longer to pick up.

Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

Why should you slow down to let another car move into your lane?

Good karma.

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but 200 applied for the job.