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What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking?

You slow down and use lube ()

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What do lesbians use for lubricant?

Tartar sauce!

Why couldn't I call back a Bernie Sanders volunteer?

Because they were using a Berner Phone.

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What's the thing in common between your girlfriend starting the pill and the muisic group Europe?

It's the final condom... Ta da da da...

What's the best way to break up with your girlfriend?

On the front page of reddit.