What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

This joke may have profanity.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the building?

Te-quil-a

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What happens when Turkeys get the common cold?

They quit smoking.

What do you call a group of IT guys that smoke meth?

Geek Squad

Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

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What, me? Lazy?

Don't get me started.

How do you build a flea circus?

You have to start from scratch.

Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

What is a joke that only makes sense in your own regional dialect/accent?

Sorry for a post that's not a joke but I'm interested. Here's one from where I am. These two ducks are flying over Ballymena. The first one says, "quack quack" and the second one says, "slow down! I'm coming as quack as I cyan."

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What do a UT Austin student and a Texas A&ampM student have in common?

They both applied to UT Austin

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.