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What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

Pre-nup brittle.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What happened when the two angels got married?

They lived harpily ever after!

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

Candy Jokes More Candy Jokes

What did the Israeli Prime Minister who can't say the word "and" say about candy that caused such a hubbub?

Mike Ike's are my least favorite.

How do you spell candy with two letters?

C and Y