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How did Mr Cheese paint his wife?

He Double Gloucester.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call a married knot?

Monotonous. Bonus answer from my wife: a noose.

What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

Why do we paint Easter eggs?

Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

What would you have if all autos in the US were painted pink?

A Pink Car Nation!