What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?

A stole.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why doesn't Kanye West take his wife to the beach?

Because he is afraid tidal wave will take her away from him.

Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did the oyster say to the fish who stole it's shell?

Stop being shellfish!" *drops microphone, walks away*

Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

What does a clam do on his birthday?

He shellabrates!

What did the Nuclear Engineer get for his birthday?

Yellow Cake

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

How did the burglar get into the house?

Intruder window

Why did the burglar take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway