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What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?

A stole.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What does the snowman call his wife?

Snowblower

What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?

Because the thief was spending less than his wife.

Why did the French chef go to the police?

Escargot stolen.

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday?

Crimea a river

Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?

He's trying to age disgracefully!

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

Why is there a baseball bat under your bed?

Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball

Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?

To prove that he was framed!