Atm Jokes

What machine do you need to make a girl fall in love with you?

An ATM machine

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Why does Bank of America not have a backspace on the ATM keypad?

Because America is never wrong.

Why does no-one use the rhinos ATM?

Because he charges!

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

What's the best machine to impress women at the gym?

The ATM

What's the only bank franchise that doesn't have ATMs?

Sperm banks.

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

What's the best machine I can use?

The trainer responds, "The ATM"

A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

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What does Wonder Woman call foreplay?

Amazon Prime.

How do we not know what women want yet?

There are tons of conflicting lists all over the internet.

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Why wouldn't the man dance?

His pants had no ballroom.

Why couldn't the man be bothered to look at the origami mountains?

Because it was pay-per view.* "paper view"

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by a group of black guys?

Coach.

Why did the coach prohibit the blonde from giving any bj's to the team?

The guys complained about the blow-dryer being too hot...

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How do you impress a girl?

By growing up.

A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Who's there! Checkmate! Checkmate who?

Checkmate bounce if you don't have money in the bank!

Why do they attach chains to their pens?

If I am trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens.

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How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

Why do North Korean officials are always seen holding a notebook and a pen when they're near Kim Jong Un?

They're writing their last will and testament.

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What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

What's the best machine I can use?

The trainer responds, "The ATM"

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What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants?

On television!

Who's in charge of all the liquid measurements?

The liter.