Atm Jokes

What machine do you need to make a girl fall in love with you?

An ATM machine

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Why does Bank of America not have a backspace on the ATM keypad?

Because America is never wrong.

Why does no-one use the rhinos ATM?

Because he charges!

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

What's the best machine to impress women at the gym?

The ATM

What's the only bank franchise that doesn't have ATMs?

Sperm banks.

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

What's the best machine I can use?

The trainer responds, "The ATM"

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

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Impress Jokes More Impress Jokes

How do you impress a girl?

By growing up.

What music you into?

Date: I love hip hop Me: Yeah me too thinking of something to say to impress her Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you call a woman who wants lots of compensation?

Sue.

What are you planning on doing on MLK day?

Her: I plan on sleeping all day Me: ...Why Her: I want to have dreams too

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?

I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place

How did 3 know 4 was a Ballerina?

He had a 2-2.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why is it expensive to be a criminal?

Because the police charge you.

How much will a pirate charge you for a piercing?

Buckaneer

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What's stronger, fifty watts of sound or fifty watts of light?

I don't care but would you please stop screaming, turning the lights on and off.

How many redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Who cares, because How Can Light Be Real If Our Eyes Arent Real?

Machine Jokes More Machine Jokes

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Facebook Jokes More Facebook Jokes

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Whats the difference between Facebook and Reddit?

About two hours.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail?

It was important not to fall off the wagon.

What do you get when a piano falls down a mine shaft?

A flat minor.