Atm Jokes

What machine do you need to make a girl fall in love with you?

An ATM machine

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Why does Bank of America not have a backspace on the ATM keypad?

Because America is never wrong.

Why does no-one use the rhinos ATM?

Because he charges!

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

What's the best machine to impress women at the gym?

The ATM

What's the only bank franchise that doesn't have ATMs?

Sperm banks.

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

What's the best machine I can use?

The trainer responds, "The ATM"

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

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Why can't there be a League of Legend's team of 5 Lucians?

Because you can't have a team with only 3 champions.

How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?

Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Why was the Energizer Bunny in court?

Because it was charged with battery.

Good Machine Jokes More Good Machine Jokes

What's the best machine I can use?

The trainer responds, "The ATM"

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order?

I on it.

How did Stevie Wonder respond when asked how he coped with being blind?

At least I'm not black.

Dough Jokes More Dough Jokes

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks?

Because he thought it wood look better!

How do you explain a man birthing a baby?

Taco Bell for lunch

Impress Jokes More Impress Jokes

Why wasn't the pediatrician impressed with the New Year's Eve Times Square ball drop?

Because he has seen plenty of balls drop. (Sorry)

What music you into?

Date: I love hip hop Me: Yeah me too thinking of something to say to impress her Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.

What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

I would be forced to drive unlawfully.