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Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Whose funeral was this photo taken at?

John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said

Why did the horse miss the joust?

He had the knight off!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the pregnant lady douche with Chanel No 5?

She wanted to chanel her inner child

Why was the blonde wearing condoms on her ears?

Because she didn't want to get hearing-AIDS.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?

He was stopped for speeding fined $50 and dismantled for six months.

What would one call a movie about meth addictions?

Need for speed.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why doesn't America knock?

Because freedom rings

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.