Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why did Dracula miss lunch?

Because he didn't fancy the stake.

What do you call a missing psychic midget?

A small medium at large.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone says that his last light bulb was much better.

Why did the man marry a monkey?

Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry...sorry twice if this is an old joke

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What happens when something travels faster than the speed of light?

Does it matter?

Who is going to win tonight's presidential election?

The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Where did vampires go to first in America?

New-fang-land.

Who wins the election?

America.

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

What do you think you're doing parking your car there?

Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."

Why are you driving without a license?

Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.