When did you first miss it dear?

Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What does a redneck do when he misses his girlfriend?

Reload, take better aim.

What did the boy say when his dog died?

I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?

There was a face off in the corner.

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

Which is the quickest way to reach the hospital?

Bernard pushed him under a truck...

Why did the skydiver die before reaching the ground?

Because he reached terminal velocity.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

What do you call it when all the Chinese places in town start to close?

Wonton endangerment.

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?

A furrycanine

Professor Jokes More Professor Jokes

What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

Cause they want the D.