Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

What is the definition of a Wife?

An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

How many boxers does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They're used to having their lights knocked out.That joke turned dark fast. I'll see myself to my respective corner.

What did Russians use for light before candles?

Light bulbs

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What is the similarity between Caps Lock and prison?

They both turn "o" into "O".

How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?

He became a vegetarian.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

How long does 8 sleep for?

Forever.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares?

He wanted to check his e-mail.

Why did the library book go to the doctor?

It needed to be checked out it had a bloated appendix.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What's black and taps on the window?

A baby in the microwave

What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of Coke?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo fall out of a window

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What are a terrestrial planet's favorite genres of music?

Rock and Heavy Metal

What's the best music to listen to while stoned?

Rock.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

What do you call it when all the Chinese places in town start to close?

Wonton endangerment.

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

Police Officer Jokes More Police Officer Jokes

How do you describe a hierarchy of police officers with only one word?

Police police police police police police police police police police police.

What did the police officer say to his stomach?

I've got you under a vest.