Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

Why didn't the Photon have any luggage on the plane?

He was Travelling Light

What's the main difference between light and hard?

I can go to sleep with a light on

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What sentence did the man who took 2 minutes to turn around get?

Man.

What does LeBron James do after winning the NBA Championship?

He turns off his Xbox.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the European businessman sleep on the streets?

To avoid a hostel takeover.

Why do you hate me?

Me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What do you have to use to check a test on Telemarketing?

A Scamtron.

What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange?

Check, mate!

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why did I throw my phone out of my window?

Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane...

How is a computer like an air conditioner?

They both stop working properly when you open windows.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What do women and rocks have in common?

You can skip the flat ones.

What type of rock is this Holmes?

It's sedimentary my dear Watson!

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

What has four legs and see just as well from either end?

A horse with his eyes closed!

How often do you guys close your internet tabs?

One of mine is from the Kerry/Edwards campaign.

Police Officer Jokes More Police Officer Jokes

What did the French fry say to the police officer?

Help me! I've been a-salted!

What did the police officer say to his stomach?

I've got you under a vest.