Why couldn't the laptop go to sleep?

What did the police say to the man who wouldn't go to sleep?

He's resisting a rest!

What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?

Amp;nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac

What's the deal with my laptop?

I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.

What should we call this portable computer?

SOME GUY: Laptop everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer

Shift Jokes More Shift Jokes

What's the difference between humor and odor?

Humor is a shift of wit...

What are some of your strengths?

Me: Shifting the blame HR: That's a horrible reply Me: No, your question was! HR: Wow, you're good!