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Laptop Jokes

Which laptop has the most pleasant speakers?

A Dell

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

What's the deal with my laptop?

I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.

What happens when you throw a laptop into the ocean?

You have a Dell, rolling in the deep.

What do you call a laptop in the ocean?

A Dell, rolling in the deep.

What do you call a laptop that ejaculates metal?

Computer

How do you do that?

I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet I know it's raining!

What kind of laptop calls you a thousand times?

A dell

Why couldn't the laptop go to sleep?

Because it has two shifts.

Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

What should we call this portable computer?

SOME GUY: Laptop everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer

Why was Princess Peach worried when Mario wanted to use her laptop?

She forgot to delete her Bowser history

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What do you call a burger that merged with a laptop?

A big mac*

When my laptop asks "Are you sure?

It's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions I have made.

Where does an elephant carry its laptop?

In its trunk.

What do you call a laptop that sings?

A Dell

Why couldnt the laptop see?

Cause it was SoDIMM

What do you call a singing Laptop?

A Dell

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Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

How does an elephant climb a tree?

He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up.

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How does the vicar explore the Internet?

With the church mouse.

How does a tree access the internet?

It logs on.

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What do you call a singing Laptop?

A Dell

What do you call a singing laptop?

Adele

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How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Why "Trojan" condoms?

Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out Less than stellar marketing.

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Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor?

Because Sam sung better than him

What's the final product Steve Jobs released?

The iDied

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What's the deal with my laptop?

I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.

Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

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What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Why did a Mexican girl get pregnant?

She was told to do an essay in school.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

Why did Jon Snow stand in line at the Apple store?

For the watch!

Why do white girls like Apple?

Because once go Mac you never go back.